Too Busy

Man, I have been so busy. I have mostly been updating my live journal which can be viewed at

http://www.livejournal.com/users/commonryan/

My life is not very complicated. It's just kinda hectic. My boys, ages 3 and 5, are very active and love to play. I have pretty much made it my solemn vow to be around more for my boys than my father was for me. I spend a good bit of time playing and wrestleling with them. When I'm not doing that though, I am reading, studying, spending time with my wife (Karen), and working.

At work, we are preparing to begin the 40 Days of Purpose campaign. We are very excited. Many of our church leaders have already gone through this in preperation for leading others through it. This book has been one of the major life changing events that have revolutionted my relationship with God.

I say it is one because, this revolution began over 2 years ago. I began searching for greater meaning in my life. (I already knew my purpose, but I lacked a general sense of vision and specific direction). I was basically confused and disillusioned with the Christ I read about in the Bible and the Christianity being practiced by myself and others in the church (globally).

Christians are not perfect people and never will be, but I am deeply saddened by the amount of sin that we allow to remain in our lives. We are supposed to be the salt of the earth and a light in the darkness. But we so often aren't.

So I began a journey to seek Christ more fully. Not having anyone that I could follow, a mentor so to speak, I sought out literature. One of the first books that I began reading was Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. THis book was a God send. It addressed the exact problems that I was seeing and facing in my own life as well as in the chruch at large. From there, I read other books including,

1. Foster's Streams of Living Water

2. John Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted

3. Brother Larwence"s Practising the Presence of God

4. Dan Kimbal's Emerging Church and Emerging Worship

Etc. . . etc . . . Anyway, this lead me to Renovare, a group headed by Richard Foster that focuses on Spiritual Formation through the practicing of the common spiritual disciplines that great spiritual leaders of the past used and depended on, such as: fasting, christian meditation, worship, celebration, service, secrecy, solitude, etc.

I began a small group with about 8 of the Senior High students in my youth group where we focused on accountability, encouragment, and a greater degree of commitment to living for Christ by practicing and applying these Spiritual disciplines to our lives.

We have succeeded this far by focusing on our relationship with Christ and with each other. We have all been tempted to quit and have all continued to face many hardships, troubles and toils. However, I believe that all of us are growing iin our faith and benefiting from these groups immensly.

The most difficult thing about practicing these disciplines is maintaining focus on Christ. There is a great temptation to become legalistic. However, each week, we hold each other accountable for this. The exercises and disciplines that we are practicing in our lives are not merely items to be checked off our "to do" lists. We are doing these exercises soley to experience or "practice the presence of God" in our lives. The agreement that we have is that if you feel you are doing "your exercise" just to get it done, don't do it. Pray for direction and focus, and wait for God to speak to you.

It is difficult. It requires constant maintance of one's heart and mind. It takes into account one's motives more than one's actions and behavior. However, any serious student of the Bible would quickly see that this is Jesus' intent in His teachings.

So, my journey (though it is not over and never will be) has taken some very exciting turns. I have found live to be more colorful and brighter. Jesus' words "I have come to give life and give it to the full" have a much greater significance and meaning to me now.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am holier than anyone. But I believe I have finally understood something imortant. If the church or any follow of Christ wants to really live for HIm; we are going to have to embrace His Words and life more in our own. To love Him means to obey Him. We cannot seperate these two things.

Really, it's ironic. How many athelites do you think would succeed if they didn't train and exercise? Why do we naively believe that we can grow spiritually without disciplining ourselves and getting rid of the bad, habitual sins in our lives?

Later,

Ryan